Wednesday, January 11, 2012

On the Loss of Innocence

     I recently found my old diary, which was given to me for Christmas in 1980 by my kindred spirit and dear friend, Helen Elaine Clayton. I had just turned seventeen years old, and was struggling through my freshman year at Auburn University. In the blink of an eye, I had gone from being a naive high school girl to someone I could hardly recognize anymore. I was seeking absolution...


 January 10, 1981

                                                   ----On the Loss of Innocence----
     It is true that as we grow older and wiser to the world, a certain amount of our childish innocence is lost. But, is it not also true that innocence can be regained? Innocence is seeing God. It is knowing that your special angel is by your side as you walk home from evening classes. It is seeing a good side and a bad side of something, and letting the good fill your heart so the bad won't overpower you. Bad things need to be understood with a hopeful heart; bad will then seem like an obstacle which can be overcome.

                                                                ----God----

     When I feel light and unburdened, that's God. When warmth pervades my heart and soul, and I feel almost giddy with love, that's God. When I cry out in anguish and feel somehow comforted, although I am indeed alone; that, too, is God.

                                                        ----Guardian Angel----

     Dear angel, my invisible companion, stay with me through all of my days and nights. Let me know you're there when I'm alone. Laugh with me, cry with me, read with me, paint with me--pray with me.

2 comments:

  1. This is wonderful, I'm remembering how we wanted to grow and become new people, but how very much we wanted to not lose the feeling of innocence. In a way, fitting into the construct of "graduate, leave, go to some college or university" didn't fit us. We were creative and might have done things some other way if we could have completely designed our own entry into adulthood. Would we have made films for a year? Probably. It's fun to imagine. I'm glad I gave you a diary. What does it look like? Does it say, "DIARY" on the front, and come w/ a key?
    love.
    Elaine

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  2. elaine, it has "Gone With The Wind" on the front...designed not to look like a diary. can you imagine how cool it would have been for us to do a years' worth of films? too bad we didn't have video equipment back then, instead of an old Panasonic camera with no sound capability! XOXO

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