Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Upside of Emptiness

     Naked and robustly feminine, libidinous and carefree, I wandered through a dreamscape of random yet intimate encounters--some sexual in nature--consolidating primal me, briefly merging and coming away absolutely galvanized, with no sense of shame or guilt. It was intensely familiar, a dream I'd never dreamed before, but remembered so well. Some dreams are as simple as reality.
     What kind of person do I think I am? How do I see myself? Ineffable. Wild at heart, with the heart of an artist. Fiercely non-cynical. Resilient. Irreverent. Courageous. Self-effacing. Unapologetically brilliant. Humbly accomplished...I've already lassoed the moon and coralled the stars, and now, I'm giving them back. Complexly simple. Deeply sensual. Love, personified. Happy that I still haven't turned into a boring old grown up. I'm a true original...the mold wasn't broken after me; I broke it myself.
     My mirror isn't selective, and it never lies. It reflects my image without bias, but when I step away, not only do I disappear, it's as if I'd never stood before it. It sees without filters, but remembers nothing. No preconceived notions, no self-criticism, no fear, no regrets. Perhaps that's the upside of emptiness, of having a mind like a sieve instead of a steel trap. Go, primal me.

--Inspired by last night's wonderful dream, and this aphorism by Marty Rubin aka nothingprofound: "Once upon a time there was a parrot that kept repeating 'happiness, happiness, happiness.' I am that parrot."

19 comments:

  1. I love the ethereal nature of this, Kris. Marty got me thinking, too, but not this beautifully!

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    1. I love writing about dreams, Janene, especially the ones that are real.

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  2. Some seriously beautiful wielding of words here!

    I once wrote a little tale about a reflection that got fed up with me and disappeared, allowing me, for the first time, to see the bathroom door behind me in the mirror. :)

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    1. Robert, I enjoyed your clever tale about your reflection so much I'm posting the link here. Thanks for stopping by! http://mulledvine.com/fiction-story/fiction-imagine/

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  3. Great post. Brilliantly written.

    Is your mirror for sale? There's obviously something wrong with mine. It shows me only an old man.

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    1. Thanks, Joel! You? Old? Pffffft. I'd give you mine, but I've already cracked it ;-)

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  4. beautifully and poetically written, mixed with a bit unconscious flow. i admire your confidence! i too believe a life that is in full blossom is in fact its "primal form". no one can do better than mother nature.

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    1. "Life in full blossom is, in fact, its 'primal form.' No one can do better than Mother Nature." I love that, Yunyi. I've never quite understood why we keep trying to defy her...we're already perfect!

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  5. Loved the way you put it Helena. You have a good way of building up an image when you write. If only I could have those dreams at least once in a while. As for the mirror, I wish it would lie sometimes and portray something much better, just to make me feel good, but like you said, 'my mirror isn't selective'.... Great Post.

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    1. That's the beauty (or the curse) of the looking glass, depending on which way you look at it, RPD. I think you've got a lot to feel good about.

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  6. I really like this post. It is true about the mirror and what we "see". We can lie to ourselves and the world all day long but what and who we see in the mirror will always remain the constant because a mirror never lies, ever. I have wondered, in younger years, if what I see is what others see. I try to live my life like that, giving those around me who I really am, giving them what I see in the mirror.

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  7. You know, Kris, the one thing we know for certain is that we're all born naked; and yet it seems to be the thing people are most ashamed of and want to forget. Your dream and your attitude toward life shows that it's something you always remember.

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    1. Thanks, Marty, and thanks for the inspiration you provide!

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  8. My dreams are like a fun house mirror, distorted.

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  9. A write-up with a pair of wings :-). Effervescent, spontaneous, free. Who wouldn't love it!

    'It reflects my image without bias, but when I step away, not only do I disappear, it's as if I'd never stood before it.' - this is the sentence that struck me the most. Does this indicate that you somewhat lose a sense of who you are when you step away from your mirror of introspection?

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    1. Antara, it's not necessarily that I lose a sense of who I am as much as it is stepping out of myself...by stepping away, my perspective isn't so myopic and critical.

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  10. Kris, when I read your magnificent dreamscape, I was immediately reminded of that line about “I’ll have what she’s having” from the movie “When Harry Met Sally.” Yes, I’ll take one of those dreams please! :) Now that is one sensually inspiring dream inspired by Marty’s wonderful aphorism. I hadn’t put together the parrot repeating happiness with looking at one’s reflection in the mirror, but it fits beautifully.

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    1. Madilyn, "When Harry Met Sally" happens to be my favorite movie of all time! It's funny how inspiration comes together so randomly, but Marty's aphorism really resonated with me, especially when I awoke from that dream.

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