Sunday, December 29, 2013

Aftermathing

The ambient silence smolders heavily,
cocooning them in a sticky lonely fog,
separating them even further
in the separateness they'd long ago mistaken for independence,
both of them living some version of the truth.

Aftermathing is such an exhausting affair.
Trampled and Trampled Upon stumble alongside each other,
circumnavigating their elegantly crafted minefield of eggshells,
carefully sidestepping resentment's timebombs,
treading ever so lightly
until the suffocating fog lifts,
leaving them spent and exposed,
each of them wondering,
"Are we the only ones who 'do' this?"

Why is communication so easy for some
and so difficult for others?
Humility, honesty, and assertiveness
don't come naturally to everyone,
I suppose.
In the interim,
Time intervenes,
softening the blows
delivered by love that still stands a fighting chance.





21 comments:

  1. Excellent poem,

    It reminds me of a few painful moments in my past. Too bad people can't just be open and honest with what bothers them. Walking on eggshells is no fun for anyone, and more pain is never the correct path to happiness.

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    1. I agree 100%, Scott. Walking on eggshells around someone else is one of the loneliest, worst feelings in the world. Open and honest communication is the only way I know to prevent that from happening in the first place.

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  2. I can relate to this so well.

    I wonder, who you were thinking of when you wrote this poem?

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    1. I'm glad to hear that my poem resonated with you, Angie. Let's just say, I'm currently walking on eggshells.

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    2. I'm sure everybody has been there and done that at one time or another. :)

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  3. I've been there Helena. Communication, as hard as it might be on the worst day is always key if you want a relationship to work (family, friends, etc). But it has to be on both sides. If one side gives in then it's done. A gently prod every now again can help but it can also cause that eggshell to crack depending on the person you're dealing with. A change of scene to somewhere completely different and serene can help to get things more out in the open. A very poignant post.

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    1. A change of scenery, or some sort of distraction, is a great way to facilitate communication. It somehow levels the playing field, I think.

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  4. Kris, there's nothing worse than that feeling of being stifled, of feeling you have to swallow down your words for fear of upsetting or disturbing another. I find it's better to risk the explosion, to smash the eggshells than go pussy footing around. The amazing thing I've found is that it's possible to break the silence respectfully, courteously. One doesn't have to rave like a maniac or smash walls. If the other person refuses to listen, tries to shut one down with the cold treatment or temper, then it's best to let it go and just go on one's merry way. I sometimes run into this situation with my daughter. There are times I can see genuine communication is impossible and I simply shrug my shoulders and back off. I refuse to let anyone spoil my day.

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    1. Shrugging off a failed attempt at communication is an option I haven't really explored, but one that sounds worthwhile. Like you, I feel it's better to risk the explosion than to harbor resentments. Resentment is truly poisonous.

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    2. I'm with Marty on this Kris. I hope it's possible for you to break the silence respectfully, courteously.

      I hope that you will experience an opening before the year has ended. Best wishes for a communicative 2014.

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    3. Thanks, TT, I am hoping for that as well. Happy New Year to you!

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  5. One can see the raw emotions. It saddens me when a friend has unhealed wounds that seem to keep getting reopened. Proof that time doesn't always heal all wounds. Remember that you have a friend to talk to. He can't offer much more than an ear and a kind voice but it will be sincere.

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    1. Thanks, Steven. You've been a great friend, and I appreciate your support and wisdom.

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  6. Humans look inward and that has got to be indelible genetic coding. It takes lasting courage to look outward, think of what others might be feeling, think of what might comfort the fellow traveller. The pain is all the more acute on softer, caring spirits. But, life goes on and life passes by, thundering like Express trains across humbler stations.

    Your beautiful poem has captured the writhing of a trapped soul well.

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    1. Thanks, Uma. I love how you expressed looking outward. Sometimes, it's easy to forget that we're all fellow travelers.

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  7. Such a powerful and beautifully crafted poem, Kris! From the very first lines, I could feel the raw honesty and aching emotions expressed in trying to reach out to the other person, as if to shake that person awake from a self-imposed cocoon. “Circumnavigating their elegantly crafted minefield of eggshells, carefully sidestepping resentment’s timebombs,” so well put. Walking on eggshells is tenuous, those shells can break so easily. I can relate so well from many experiences in my life, past and present.

    Communication is vital to any relationship. It’s a stressful and often painful process when one person is closed off from the other. Your words cut right through to the heart of the matter and the last verse offers the promise of hope through love, “that still stands a fighting chance.” I sure hope so! A “fighting chance” though takes two and even unconditional love has its eggshell breaking point, so I hope the message reaches the heart of the recipient. Much love to you, Kris, and all the best of wishes for the coming year!

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    1. I knew you'd be able to relate to the underlying feelings in this poem, Madilyn. You're right about unconditional love having a breaking point. The message has been received, and is undergoing consideration :-) Much love to you, too...I've so appreciated our friendship this past year, and look forward to deepening it in 2014.

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  8. Definitely a 2-way street Kris. Maybe the secret is `honesty'...being honest with yourself firstly. Everything else will then fall into place.
    Cheers, ic

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  9. Opening up and talking is, "easier said than done". Any one can be honest with themselves. A lot of people don't have the heart to talk. Beyond that, I don't know what to say. [No pun intended.]

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