Sunday, June 11, 2017

Axis II


brash, smart, magnetic
i ate you up with a spoon
too good to be true

friends questioned my choice
"this is fine," and it was fine--
 things were that good.

i accepted you
for who you already were
gave you all my heart

gave you family
asked for nothing in return
overlooked your flaws

i let you be you
i made excuses for you
i let you crush me

i am defeated
my spirit, worn and wary
manipulated

oh, the boundaries
you've crossed, exacting revenge
for slights you've perceived.

chip on your shoulder
albatross around your neck
blind spot a mile wide

you like setting fires
drama and polarity
then, you play victim.

crying "loyalty!"
demanding that i take sides
while you betray me.

the havoc you've wreaked
amongst family and friends--
it is all on you.

why won't i let go?
caught in a loop: hope, despair,
anger, bargaining.

i am waking up,
getting off this crazy train.
no, this is not fine.

but...i will be fine
and i won't harden my heart
while keeping it safe.